When we want others to see before they become the victim.

One difficult aftermath of spiritual abuse is knowing friends or family is still inside, that they can’t see, or can’t fully see the problem. We want them to know what we’ve learned about manipulation, mind-control, and pressure. And yet, we know that since we are the sinful outcasts or exiles, they would never listen to us.

We wish, sometimes, that someone they respect, someone they would listen to, would take them aside and say something like, “You know, your ?????? sounds a little strange. It sounds like there may be manipulation going on. Have you ever heard of spiritual abuse? You might want to look into it.”

But, of course, there are few people they respect enough to listen to like that since abusive leaders steer them into an elitist perspective. And these leaders move themselves into the place of prominence. Not obviously, of course, but slowly and surely. No one knows truth like the leader. How can inferior Christians have any special insights into spiritual matters? Why, they attend a church that doesn’t believe X or does believe Y. No point in listening to their opinions.

So, they stay trapped in the church.

You know that they are confused, as each new person leaves the church. You know they are confused when the pastor says something that is at odds with what they know is right and they struggle to rationalize it. They waver, they struggle, and they fight their own conscience and reason.

They know it’s godly to think the best of people, so when something critical comes up against their leader, they think the best. What they don’t consider, though, is that to think the best of their pastor or leader, they have to think the worst of all the other people hurt by that pastor. And they do. They think of them as rebellious or selfish or worldly or sinful, or maybe just weak.

So they struggle and you only pray that someday, before too much damage is done, they will be able to see through the manipulations and have the strength to get out; before their time comes.

Though I consider my church only somewhat spiritual abusive, after two years of working there I was not able to hear from God anymore. It took another year and a half before I knew for certain God’s voice to me personally. I wasn’t sure I would ever know it again.

I see those who suffered too much damage and who can no longer hear from God, or no longer know if they can hear from Him. It is the saddest thing to come across these people. Your heart just aches, my prayers goes out.

Posted on September 26, 2010, in The Church Series. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Ann Kimble-Hill

    “This was a very personal and bold blog. I’m glad that you have the courage to say it. Too often, those who do question and speak up in the church are labeled trouble makers. God is not the author of confusion, and many forget that if there is division over a topic sometimes we have to go back to faith basics. While God has the ability to make something good happen during a “scattering season”, we still have this great ministry of reconciliation and until we are able to reconcile with each other it makes us unable to carry out the great commission. Overall, it’s a sad state of affairs.”

  2. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of boldness. Should I keep silence on reality? Should I not tell my experiences at the expense of others? Should I not talk about the church when it has fall to carry out the Great Commission? My Lord and Savior had no preservations of calling the religious leaders what they were (Hypocrites). Why should … Read Moreour boldness be any less? My prayer is that reconciliation take place all over this nation between Christians. We has fooled ourselves, Sunday after Sunday we block ourselves behind our four walls and have church and God people are hemorrhaging from lack of spiritual nutriment. It is time the children of God focus on relationships and not membership. I agree with you my Sister it is a sad state of affairs when men who claim to be called by God can’t humble themselves for the good of the elect. Much love my Sister, praying for repentance and unity with the Body.

  3. AMEN!!!!! I touch and agree with u on that Kenny you on point. I love your spirit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: