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Hellish Relationships

Sam and Jean had a hellish marriage.

 

With a history of promiscuity, personal insecurities, etc., etc., both brought excess baggage into the relationship that contributed toward constant

conflict. Both however, had recently become followers of Christ and were committed to living out their marriage vows His way.

That was twenty years ago. Today I was on the phone with Sam as he mused over the fact that he and Jean had become “best friends.”

 

It seems to me there are several reasons for this remarkable transformation:

 

1. Both were willing to humble themselves and seek out competent and godly counsel to help them identify and root out the origins of their problems:

“For lack of guidance a nation falls, but many advisers make victory sure.” (Proverbs 11:14)

 

2. Both were committed to spiritual growth: Consistent times of prayerful meditation upon God’s Word:

“Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.

Then you will be prosperous and successful.” (Jos. 1:8)

 

3. Both surrounded themselves with godly people to whom they chose to be accountable; people from whom they gained supportive strength:

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs

with gratitude in your hearts to God.” (Colossians 3:16) (See 1 Thessalonians 4:18; 5:11; Hebrews 12:12-15)

 

4. Both were committed to persevering through their problems. In their minds divorce was never an option. Thus, they chose to face, rather than deny

or ignore the critical issues:

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9) (See Romans 5:3 ; 1 Corinthians 15:58; 1 Thessalonians 3:13; Hebrews 12:1-3; 1 Peter 3:8-11)

 

Over the years, I have met few couples who did not face daunting challenges in their marriage. I have come to believe that marital success or failure

is determined not by the size of the problems, but by whether or not the couple is willing to face and deal with the problematic issues, whatever the pain, whatever the cost.

 

Living as we do in a crybaby world “if it feels good do it” society where marriage vows often read, “as long as we both shall love,”

instead of “till death do us part,” we need to comprehend the fact that God hates divorce, and only granted it because of people’s hardness of heart. (Malachi 2:16; Mark 10:2-9)

 

QUESTION: Are you demonstrating your commitment to your marriage by taking whatever steps are biblical and necessary to resolve the difficult

issues that inevitably could destroy it? If not, why not?

 

THOUGHT: If you applied these principles and biblical truths to every area of your life, what would the outcome be?   

The Church Series (Who is My Mother?) Pt. 18 (WARNING) Rated FG-7

 Who is My Mother?

Then one said to Him, “Look, Your mother and Your brothers are standing outside, seeking to speak with You.” But He answered and said to the one who told Him, “Who is My mother and who are My brothers?” And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:48-50

Who is my mother? Jesus called attention away from earthly relationships to more important spiritual relationships. A believer is even closer to Christ than to a physical relative. This saying was not intended to be one of disrespect to Mary or to His brothers, for they too would come to share that spiritual relationship. Relationships are complicated, especially when we give our lives to Christ. Jesus’ first disciples had to leave their family to follow him. (Matthew 4:22, 8:22, 10:37) The love of a mother goes without saying can be one of the most intimate relationships one can have. As you celebrate this Mother’s Day, take a lesson from Christ and remember that as a Christian how all of your relationships with follow believers become as intimate.

The Lord is saying that the strongest relationship today is the relationship between Christ and a believer. Friend, if you are a child of God and you have unsaved family members, you are closer to Jesus Christ than you are to your own kin, including the mother that bore you. You are more closely related to other believers than you are to unsaved members of your family. This is tremendous! He is talking about a new relationship. The body of Christ has forgotten the new relationship we have with one another in Christ. The church as it exists today in many cases relationships among believers are bounded within their four walls, mainly on Sunday and within their clicks.

Instead of going outside to see what his family members wanted, Jesus looked at the crowd and asked an odd question, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Jesus knew why his family had come, yet he used their visit as a lesson in discipleship. A relationship with Jesus was not limited to those in his immediate family. Jesus opened this relationship to all people. His question could be rendered, “Who are the types of people who can have a family relationship with me?” I have seen pastors take the side of family even when they are wrong and chastise a believer who was right. As the world celebrate their mother this weekend, if you have a relationship with Christ ask yourself the question. Who is my mother?

When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!” Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home. John 19:26-27 Jesus directed his disciple John to take care of Mary, his mother, in his absence. Mary had apparently been widowed and was being cared for by Jesus himself. Even while suffering in agony, Jesus demonstrated his care for his mother. The body of Christ should demonstrate the same passion for its members (mothers). And He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of My Father in heaven is My brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12:49-50

Jesus was pointing out that spiritual relationships are as binding as physical ones, and he was paving the way for a new community of believers to be formed as Jesus’ spiritual family. This family would be characterized by love; the members should desire to be together, work together, and share one another’s burdens.

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